Monday, November 17, 2008

Do you know how it feels

To lose one friend after another to you?

To see someone else take my place even when I'm standing right there?

To know that given a choice, you would always be chosen and I will always be left alone?

To see everyone rather pick you than me?

To see that there is no room for me at an already crowded space?

To know that I'm not wanted unless needed to be used?

To know that I am not worth as much as you, that I'm not as important as you?

To feel invisible?

To be bound my silence when all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs?

That no matter what I say or how loud, I will never be heard?

That nothing that matters to me matters to anyone else?

When everything I say is shot down?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

"Breathe once more. Live for one more breath. As long as you breathe, you are fighting to survive."

What do you do when you want to talk to someone and tell someone everything that is going on ... but don't know who to talk to?

What do you do when you want to talk, but at the same time, you can't. You can't find the words to say how you feel. You can't find the courage to say the words that you bury deep down in your heart, time after time. You can't find the words to say, even when your body is wrenched with heartbreaking sobs that you have buried until you couldn't dig a hole deep enough.

What do you do when all you know how to do is bury your feelings so deep that it can only rise when your guard is down, when you're too tired to keep the walls up around your heart?

Not sure if it's the lack of sleep talking. Or exhaustion. Or depression. Or my mind is being affected by the smoke inhalation from the fires. Or I just may be losing my mind period. Because all I know is.

Tomorrow is another day. Everything that bubbled up to the surface tonight we be pushed back down and forgotten for another day.

"Breathe once more. Live for one more breath. As long as you breathe, you are fighting to survive."

"Make plans for 100 years, but you must be ready to die at any moment." Roberto Cannessa

Los Angeles times article about the documentary,0,4314034.story

Video about the documentary

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Stranded: I've Come from a Plane That Crashed on the Mountains

I want to drive all the way out to Santa Monica to watch a movie on Tuesday. Why Santa Monica? What movie? Santa Monica because that is the closest theater that is showing "Stranded: I've Come from a Plane That Crashed on the Mountains". Can you guess what the movie is about??? If not, here are some reviews.

I confess. As a kid, my favorite movies were "La Bamba" and "Alive". Which explained my fear of flying till I was about 19. I have read the book by Piers Paul Read. When I went to buy it, it was in the sports section, believe it or not. More recently, I bought Nando Parrado's book, Miracle in the Andes. For those of you unfamiliar with the fate of those aboard Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571, Nando Parrado is one of the sixteen survivors of that tragedy which claimed 29 lives. Parrado not only is one of the survivors, but he is one of the two survivors who hiked for days to escape death from the Andes Mountain. It's a great story of survival, of brotherhood, that no matter how desperate things may seem, no matter how bad things get, we can survive. We will survive.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

You'll never guess who I ran into on Friday...

Initially I wanted to post this ASAP but when I got home on Friday night, my internet decided not to work. So, here it is ... a day late.

On Friday, I went to the Top of the Park gift store at Dodger Stadium to get two birthday presents. After I bought my purchase, I went to take a look at the field. Since I had my camera with me, I wanted to get shots of the field since they had some Halloween decorations up. I wanted to get a picture of the Dodgers dug out. In order to do that, I had to walk over to the one side of the Top Deck. I had noticed the Hollywood sign and the Griffith Park Observatory and just finished taking some photos of those when I noticed someone was talking to the two guys sitting in the top deck. This is what probably went through my mind at that moment: OH MY GOODNESS! THAT'S FRANK McCOURT! IT'S FRANK McCOURT!

As in ... the man who owns the Dodgers! (Not the author). Seeing as I missed my photo opportunity with Jamie McCourt at the last Dodger game I went to, I wasn't going to let this one slip by me too. So I headed back towards the center of the Top Deck. By the time I got to where the two guys were sitting, Mr. McCourt had already left. He was almost at the exit of the Top Deck when he stopped. He said "hi" to me and I replied, "Hi." Then I asked him if he wouldn't mind taking a picture with me. By now I've forgotten what I said. All I remember was my heart beating pretty fast. Not as fast as when I meet the other Dodgers like Russell or Andre. But it was beating pretty quick. He said, "Sure. Do you have a camera?" Funny thing. I almost left my house without my camera. Good thing I almost ALWAYS have my camera on me. We went back to the seats and asked one of the guys to take the picture for me. As we're getting ready to take the picture, Mr. McCourt asked the guy to "come around to this area so we can get a nice view of the field for the background instead of this elevator thingy". So, we reposition ourselves and ...