I dreamt of Charlie

Strangely enough, I think Charlie looked like Derek Morgan aka Shemar Moore. I think.

Wow, back to back nights where I had these crazy vivid dreams. This one wasn't as hectic or crazy as the night before. This one took place on a campus or campground or something. Not quite sure. I'm sitting on the grass with this guy, Charlie. He has his arm around me and he starts placing kisses like on my shoulder and working his way up my neck. He tells me how good I smell. Then he suggests we go some place a little more private so we can be alone. I say okay, just a little bit alone. I didn't want to be completely alone or in an inappropriate situation. As we're walking around looking for a spot, I notice someone is following me. It's Cheryl. She's either his ex or something like that. We keep walking and she keeps following. I see a teacher/adult, Mr. Reyes, who happens to look just like Will Schuester from Glee. I ask him if we could talk to him. He says not now, maybe later. I somehow trip and fall into a bunch of bushes, which happen to be poison ivy! Oh dear.

So, Charlie at this point disappears and the rest of the dream is a big drama between Cheryl and I. Because not only are we both interested in Charlie, we're both friends. Well, looks like our friendship is over because she refuses to talk to me. I need someone to ask for advice because I want to stay friends with Cheryl but don't want to lose Charlie. I find Ada preparing dinner and ask if I could talk to her. I'm asking her for advice when Cheryl walks in. She has a baby in a stroller and she is mad at Ada, thinking Ada is on my side. She is terribly rude to Ada. I tell Cheryl to leave Ada alone. Cheryl is telling me about the weather somewhere (California, I think) and how it's nice and warm there. She suggests I should go there, immediately. I tell her, why would I go there? I like the cold and the rain, she doesn't.

She leaves. I go looking for Charlie. I'm in the guys dormitory and asking around for Charlie. They tell me he's with Cheryl. I'm heartbroken. I grab my backpack and tell them I'm leaving. I hit the road, figure I'll hike to the nearest town or hitch hike. I look down the road and it leads into a creek. The sign marker says something like 59. I look up and the road inclines but the sign marker says 58. I start heading up the road.

A group of people on a little motor boat and two people on a motorcycle come racing up behind me, trying to convince me to come back. The guy driving the motor boat looks like John Corbit (dad from Ramona and Beezus, the pastor in Raising Helen, and the groom in My Big Fat Greek Wedding). I tell them I can't go back.

NCIS... Criminal Minds... and Goodwin???

Goodwin, as in the Other in Lost who infiltrates the Tailies. Goodwin, as in Juliet's lover on the island. At least, that's who the guy in my dream reminded me of. A little bit of Goodwin, a little bit of Aaron Eckhart.

Why am I babbling about Goodwin/Brett Cullen and Aaron Eckhart?

I'm not sure how my dream started... but I remember taking out my camera. Gibbs (NCIS) was telling me he wants photos of everything, especially faces. Or maybe it was Gideon (Criminal Minds). I'm not sure. I was taking photos when I noticed something up in the trees. There's a guy hiding in the trees. He's either got a sniper rifle or a long lens camera. I don't remember and I don't think I could see all the clearly anyway. So I try to take his picture without him knowing it. Then I see two more guys in the trees. I point this out to Gibbs.

The scene changes and I'm at an apartment building. I'm asking this woman, "donde esta su hijo?" Okay, so I was demanding she turn over her child to me. We take two or three boys in the van. Now Morgan (Criminal Minds) is driving. We're going down the main road and we notice a truck is following us. I tell Morgan about it. He changes lane and so does the truck. He turns on a street and the truck follows too. Morgan makes a big u-turn and the truck pulls up next to us. A big guy gets out of the truck to say something to Morgan. I pull out my revolver. I have no idea why I'm using a revolver. I shoot the guy in the arm. He says something and gets back in his truck and drives off.

We get on the highway. We're on the 5 heading north. The driver changes. It's no longer Morgan. I'm not sure who he is, but he reminds me of a younger Aaron Eckart/Goodwin. One of the kids had something that appeared to have a tracking device on it. It looks like a paper or receipt of some kind. I take it, rip it up, and throw it out the window. I ask Goodwin if we should try to take a different route. He says no. The only other route takes us to where SHE died. I take the way he says it, or maybe I already knew, but the SHE he was talking about was his girlfriend/significant other who as killed. I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. The weird part was, there was another agent sitting in the back with a kid or two and there's one more kid sitting between Goodwin and I. So I have no idea how I'm able to put my hand on Goodwin's shoulder. The next part is the best part of the dream. When I pull my hand back, he takes it and holds it. Then he tells me, "I can't lose you, too."

Naturally, after the best part of the dream comes the worst part. This SUV pulls up along side us and tells us to get off at the next exit. I pull my revolver out. We get off and Goodwin gets out of the car to talk to the people. It doesn't look good. He comes back and we hand over the kids to them. The other car takes off. Goodwin is visibly upset. I put my hand on his and suggest he and I ride together in the back and let the other agent drive. He shakes his head. I'm hurt and say, okay I'll get my things. Next thing I know, he and the other agent leave and I'm standing on the side of the road. Here's where it gets really weird. My pastor and his wife pull up in their surburban. She has a receipt for me that Nina said to give to me. I have no idea what the receipt is for. Next thing I know, this guy pulls up in his car and demands I give him the receipt for the tires. I have no idea what he's talking about. The only receipt I have is the one I just got from Nina. He says that's the one. He tells me to get in the car and we're going to go for a little drive.

What happens next? I have no idea. I woke up and my heart was pounding! I couldn't go back to sleep. It must have been the adrenaline from the dream. At least I was able to hold onto that feeling when "Goodwin" took my hand and said, "I can't lose you, too."

Where did 2010 go?

Wow, has it really been that long since I last wrote in here??? Okay, so I know better than to write an entry at 2 o'dark in the morning. I'll try to keep it positive.

It is now 2011. I have been unemployed for a full year now... numerically speaking. Well, so to speak. I did some work for a friend, baby sat and picked up another friend's kid, did a short-term internship... oh yeah and did some office work for a professional sports photographer!

This past Christmas, I received a little note from two different friends in their Christmas cards. The notes told of what God did for them in 2010 and how God has blessed them. One of them talked about moving back home and the different things she's done and tried since then. The other mentioned many of God's blessings, including seven new babies in their church. SEVEN! Speaking of babies... off the top of my head I think I know or at least know of seven babies who will be born (and one already arrived) in 2011. There's Baby Hetrick born on Sunday, Baby Sule due later this month, Baby Blake due in February, my cousin's former boss is expecting a baby soon as well, Baby Jensen due in May, another baby due in June, and two more in July. Is it too early to know about babies due in August? And there are wedding bells in the not too distant future. Just not sure when yet the the Jensen-McCarville wedding will take place.

When I look back over 2010, the one thing that stands out me is God's infinite grace and mercy. He provided a job or source of income every time the previous one ended. He provided wonderful friends who were generous with more than they should have been. I pray that I can one day be able to be just as generous towards them and others in situations like the one I am in now. I am so thankful for the people and friends God has put in my life.

Who knew one small conversation in February was going to lead to an amazing work opportunity in the fall? Who knew what great friendships could be born out of something as silly as a Wolf mask/hat?

I've given up on New Year's Resolutions. They don't work. You forget about them almost as soon as you write them down. I've had the same New Year's Resolution for the last six or eight years. I don't remember how long. I wasn't asking to lose weight or make a million dollars. All I was asking for was a single date, a single kiss. Another year came and went and nothing. Don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for Mr. Right. I'm in no place right now to be ready for Mr. Right. I just wish I could get to the point where I was ready to start looking. All I'm asking for is a little tiny shred of hope.