FallingLEAVes of Sunshine

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine and ten thousand beside No one knows what tomorrow may hold. When you get up in the morning, the slate is wiped clean. Everything that happened yesterday is in the past. The slate is new and only what happens that day will go on it. Will it be a good day? Will it be a bad day? What does the day hold for you when you get up? My day now starts with, how bad will my pain be today? Will it be manageable? Will I feel good enough to wash my hair today? But at least, I get to get up and ask those questions. I get to attempt to do it myself without assistance from others. One of my coworkers used to call me Bright Side. Because no matter what happened at work, I would say something, "well on the bright side".  This weekend has been and up and down each day. One good day, then one bad day. Then another good day since I rested a lot on the bad day. Then a bad day because I tried to do too much when I was feeling better...

 Yesterday we moved my things from the main floor back downstairs to the master bedroom that I rent from my friend's parents. It's nice to be sitting up in a couch instead of the recliner. A lot more cushy and more comfortable. Also, now I can watch whatever I want on all the streaming services we have downstairs and not just on an iPad with earbuds on.  The best part, I get to be with my furbabies again. Evie settled right back, snuggling with me, rubbing her head against my phone. Mal just gave me a look of, "oh it's you again" and went about her business. Hans, well he's Hans. Came over to say hello and went back to doing whatever he was doing. It's nice also being a lot closer to the bathroom. The downside is we have mini fridge, so the freezer doesn't hold as many ice packs and we only have a few down here. At least I don't need the ice packs as much as I did last week.  Slept so much better on the couch than I did in the recliner. It may take...

It's been so long that I forgot I even had this page. I didn't even know it was still around. Long story short and I'm not going to go into the details of it. I had an accident at work on Thursday, February 13. I was discharged from the ER the next morning, with a broken clavicle, a couple ribs and a chest hematoma. The first few days were the hardest and by Monday morning, I felt like the worst was behind me. Had a few decent days following that. Each day felt like baby steps in the right direction, with a few steps sliding back. Today is a sliding back day. Over the last week, many people have reached out with their words of support. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. My heart is full with love and gratitude knowing how much everyone cares. A lot has changed in the 11 years between my last blog post and now. I lost my job at ScanDigital when they relocated to the midwest. Joined the post office as a city carrier assistant in October 2015. Started in Eagle Rock and be...

Maybe it's contributed to my problem with having low self esteem since I was little. But I feel like I'm always super critical of myself and my efforts. I have always found it difficult to accept compliments. Even when I know the person giving it is completely genuine. I always have this niggling shred of doubt in the back of my mind. Not the "I'm a perfectionist and it wasn't perfect like I think it should be" kind of way. Usually it's the, "I'm really just mediocre and it really wasn't that great but if you say it is, okay" kind of way. And deep down, "I really hope it's true what you're saying" kind of way. Because in certain aspects, I know that I'm not that good at things but I try really hard at it anyway. Like music. Music does not really come naturally to me. Nor do I really have a head for it. But I really love music. For example, I play the bass clarinet and have loved playing it since the first time I tr...

Remember when everyone had a blog and posted regularly? I know I dropped off the blogosphere years ago. In light of recent events, and smart phones and a blog app, I may have to jump back into blogging. Like I said once before, I forget how much I enjoy writing. It's one of my dreams to be a writer one day. Not sure what kind of writer and if I have anything worth reading. I do admit, I go through fads and phases. Some last longer then others. Some are very short. Like I've admitted recently to our new pastor, I am a bit obsessive compulsive. There was the Newsboys fad. I bought almost all of their albums within a one year span, at the time anyway. The Snoopy and peanuts gang phase, which still lingers. The love stories book series phase. Then I ran out of shelf space. The lakers phase didn't last very long. That was in the early 2000s. There was the lord of the rings phase. Like I said, I went through lots of phases. And of course, the Dodgers phase. That lasted much lo...

My mom passed away three weeks ago today from liver disease. Even before she passed away, I was already thinking, she's never gonna see me or my siblings get married, hold any of her grand kids... Like sometime else said, those lost opportunities. There are times when I think I'll never go a day without crying. I miss her everyday. Especially at night. For me, night time is always the hardest. The house is dark and quiet. I'm no longer listening for her to call out if she needs me. And its at night when I realize, I haven't seen her today and I remember she's gone. I know I haven't written I'm two years. That was shortly before I found out the first time my mom had a liver disease. She was managing it until last September when she got sick again. This time, there was no getting better. There were weekly trips, mostly in three middle of the night, to the ER. There were several long hospital stays. And finally, hospice care at home. It was three weeks ago th...

So, this is roller coaster ride that we call life... it has been quite jerky lately. My job position changed several times since my last post. Thank God, that I still have a job, and the job changes before have proven to be quite useful. Again, thank God because it blows my mind just thinking about how His hand has been all of this. I finally replaced my tires. My rear passenger side tire has been leaking air for ages. It was the one I had replaced last summer. Then yesterday morning, I noticed the rear driver side tire was low. As I was putting air in that, I noticed that there was a nail in my very balding tire! Time to replace my tires, something I had hoped to put off till tax time. No can do. On top that, even though I just got paid, I have no idea how I'm going to make my $500 payment at the end of the month, due to needing to get new tires. This also throws out going to the Dodgers' Open House and buying any mini plan of any sort. Sorry Edward. And almost exactly to the ...