I don't know

I just don't know any more. It's been two years. Exactly two years since i last heard from this friend. While writing in my journal i used my phone to look up when was the last time i heard from this friend. The last e.mail i received was two years ago. But apparently someone else i know may have my friend's current e.mail address. Which makes me wonder. If this friend could keep in touch with my other class mate why not me? And more than anything i wish i had more than a blog to use to share how i am feeling. I wish i had something other than a journal to express everything i feel in. Because guess what? Even though i can write down how i feel it's not enough. I need someone else to share this with. Someone who won't make this all about them. Someone who won't make me feel like they're better than i am or i'm not as good or good enough. Because i want to be able to share what i'm feeling without it turning into something that's all bout them. I miss having a friend who i could talk to and could encourage me